The Level Equivalent of An Old Man Rambling at You

167th: The Level Equivalent of An Old Man Rambling at You Make a Good Mega Man Level 3

The Bee-etnam War was one of the lesser known wars, but it inspired many a long-winded tale.

Overview Creator(s): Zunzet Composer(s): Yasuaki Fujita, Ryo Kawakami, Minae Fujii, Kouji Murata, Takashi Tateishi (originals) Mathew Valente (cover) Statistics Scores: 19 19 41 37 28 Total: 27.36 / 100 Rank: 167th Elements: 2 Collectables: Enemies: Chibee Machine Gun Joe Octopus Battery Walking Bomb Gimmicks: Falling Platform (MM2) Pole Egg Sub-Bosses: Bee Blader Giant Metall Cannon Bosses: Bee Man & Hornet Man Old Man

Theme Music Part 1: Mega Man 3 - Dr. Wily Stage 3 Part 2: Mega Man 10 - Dr. Wily Capsule Part 3: Mega Man 4 - Drill Man Sub-Boss: Mega Man III - Boss Battle 2 Bee Man & Hornet Man: Mega Man V - Sunstar Old Man: Mega Man 2 - Boss Stage Order Location: Tier 1 Previous: Cycle Facility Next: Ultimate Level

"Let me tell you the story of how I survived alone in the deadly country known as Notvietam."

―???, Opening line of the ramble

The Level Equivalent of An Old Man Rambling at You is the 167th place entry in Make a Good Mega Man Level 3. Best understood as a "comedy" level, the level makes copius use of NPCs and signs with lots of dialogue, and is divided into two paths. The closest thing to a central gimmick is a bee motif, with Pole Eggs that are modified to spawn Chibees when destroyed, as well as a split path ending in a dual boss battle against Hornet Man and the physically identical Bee Man.

Strategy

A message from Dr. Light at the beginning conveys a lot of information; the most important being the difference between yellow spikes (which are Damage Spikes) and blue spikes (which will kill Mega Man on contact). The first Trickster Token can be seen right away, and obtaining it requires crossing through a passage of yellow spikes and Octopus Batteries from the opposite end of the area. The first checkpoint immediately follows, with several more Octopus Batteries obstructing the path forwards, sometimes accompanied by Walking Bombs, Machine Gun Joes, and the odd Chibee. After this is another checkpoint leading to a supposed ice cream parlor, filled with NPCs but lacking in enemies. At the far end, destroying two rows of Pole Eggs is needed to reach a pair of Falling Platforms.

Going down, Mega Man enters a long vertical section filled with Pole Eggs and Falling Platforms. Unlike the Pole Eggs from earlier (which released normal Poles), all eggs here will release a Chibee when shot. Although care is needed to avoid breaking unnecessary eggs, swarms of Chibees are also present to chase Mega Man anyway. As such, a weapon capable of destroying large numbers of Chibees is helpful, such as the Tornado Blow, Magnetic Shockwave, or Thunder Beam. At the bottom of the shaft is a Bee Blader, as well as two boss doors; a blue one on the left, and a yellow one on the right. Both paths lead to an Energy Element, but the left door is a shorter path overall.

By taking the blue door on the left, Mega Man comes upon a sign warning about what is up ahead, and a ladder leading to it. First is a battle against a pair of Bee Bladers; and after them, Hornet Man and Bee Man at the same time. The pair's Hornet Chasers can easily overwhelm Mega Man, so use of a Special Weapon to quickly destroy them as crowd control (such as the Thunder Beam) is helpful.

The yellow door on the right, however, continues the level's main path. The primary challenge here is jumping up "stairs" of blocks while avoiding both types of spikes. Aside from a few Machine Gun Joes and a Walking Bomb, enemies are light until the next checkpoint. Upon reaching an area with a Z emblazoned into the rock wall, climbing up leads to a Machine Gun Joe standing in the way. Going left leads to a secret room with an E-Tank, M-Tank, and a Yashichi on a platform, but a tool like the Rush Jet is needed to reach them. Back on the main path, Mega Man encounters a small maze room with two paths; one with yellow spikes and a Machine Gun Joe, the other with lethal blue spikes. Safely navigating the latter will reward him with an M-Tank and the second Trickster Token, neither of which can be reached on the other path.

The final challenge before the end boss is a Giant Metall Cannon supported by three Machine Gun Joes hiding within the left wall. It is advisable to take out at least the bottommost one to provide more room to avoid the Giant Metall Cannon's cannonball, as it can still reach the small corner space at the bottom. Within the boss corridor are a trio of signs, the last two containing a nonsensical, long-winded ramble that is allegedly the context for the level's existence. The path culminates in a battle against Old Man, who has 1 HP, no attacks, and cannot harm Mega Man in any way unless he deliberately touches him.

Judge Comments

Judge Comments
Mick Galbani  : 19 / 100
Design Fun Creativity Aesthetics Functionality 5 / 35 2 / 25 1 / 15 3 / 15 8 / 10 ...I don't remember any old man rambles coming with ominous theme music, same with the songs for ice cream parlours in the jungle. I also don't remember any actual difference between orange and blue doors, as both of them lead to level progress considering there's multiple energy elements. Kinda sideswiped the concept, there. Most of what I do remember is a poorly built level. Machine Gun Joe jumps off screen a LOT, and Walking Bomb isn't nearly as prominent as the (completely skippable) ramble suggests. There's plenty of bees, however. Entirely too many bees... what even was that nonsense, anyway? Top it off with a dull attempt at a 'joke' boss, and Hornet Man struggling to function in duplicate, and we've got a level I rather didn't enjoy. There are two pieces that deserve credit, at least. The fact that damage spikes vs. kill spikes are actually explained and telegraphed, and the token challenges are mildly interesting. Doesn't make up for the rest of the level, but they warrant recognition nonetheless.
Shinryu  : 19 / 100
Design Fun Creativity Aesthetics Functionality 3 / 35 2 / 25 3 / 15 2 / 15 9 / 10 What? No seriously, what was that? I...can't even really talk about this, because there's almost nothing here worth bringing up that isn't immediately obvious from just looking at the level itself. The double Hornet Man fight is the only thing I can really think of that warrants any kind of mention, mostly because of how frustrating it is unless you abuse Tornado Blow. Other than that, I'm not even sure what else to say here. Even that "context" at the end doesn't help explain this level much. If anything, it only raises more questions.
Pachy  : 41 / 100
Design Fun Creativity Aesthetics Functionality 8 / 35 10 / 25 5 / 15 9 / 15 9 / 10 Angry Grandpa. Well, that was a stage, I guess. The Old Man joke boss was pretty funny, but the rest of the level? Ehh, it's just there. A very barebones level with nothing really much standing out in terms of design. Even the Joe at the beginning just jumps offscreen if you wait long enough; he doesn't wanna get involved here. A joke boss fight alone is not gonna be enough to get the level a high score, pal. The tiling could use some work, too, nevermind the fact Napalm Man's tileset is kinda overused. Wait, why are there hidden paths inside the walls now? When it's not about the old man, the other half of the level devolves into BEES FUNNY, RIGHT GUYS? The bee jokes have gone so out of control that there are now two Hornet Men. That's not a good prize. Needless to say, the fight is pretty unreasonable and unfun.
Flashman85  : 37 / 100
Design Fun Creativity Aesthetics Functionality 11 / 35 8 / 25 5 / 15 4 / 15 9 / 10 Back in my day, we made levels that made sense. Context? We gave players context right away, or left hints everywhere. Anyone who hid their context in a secret room or at the end of their level was fed to the sharks. You'd better believe we had sharks! Big sharks, all over the place. In sock drawers, everywhere! Just like the power-ups here. Kids these days think E-Tanks grow on trees. They don't! Only little health refills do. Which reminds me: if you're going to use flower and spike tiles, *make sure they match the background*. You can't decorate a bunch of collision objects and call it a level; a level should have a deliberate sense of style, with tidy architecture and a sensible layout and polished text. Before I was a freelance garlic salesman, I was a llama photographer, so I know a thing or two about aesthetics. And you can't throw music tracks around all willy-nilly and call it a soundtrack! When I was your age, we only had one Hornet Man, and that was already more than some of us could handle. Back then, we had to walk 20 screens uphill to the only boss chamber in the whole level, and there were no secret passages dropping us off who-knows-where. We almost never heard from Dr. Light unless we were stuck on an asteroid hurtling toward the sun, and that was mostly for flavor; we learned everything the hard way, through good level design. Did I ever tell you about the time I found bees in my tadpole eggs? Or the time someone left caltrops on the stairs? Those are pretty good stories. Well, I need to rest my eyes for a bit. Be a dear and get me some ice cream, would you? I don't mind if it's nutty, but it has to be layered right so it doesn't look like it's entirely nuts.
ACESpark  : 28 / 100
Design Fun Creativity Aesthetics Functionality 8 / 35 5 / 25 5 / 15 3 / 15 7 / 10

Notes

• A hidden slide passage exists at the start of the vertical Pole Egg section, on the right wall beyond the three Falling Platforms. Taking it acts as a shortcut to the Tank and Yashichi side area, skipping the Pole Eggs and the Bee Blader entirely.
• Sliding left on the top of the ladder at the beginning of the level leads to a secret area containing a few Bolts, as well as two signs containing the same rant as the one directly before Old Man.