Difference between revisions of "User:Prim"

Revision as of 01:24, 6 March 2021

Loud round of applause for everybody's favorite: Prim!

Prim

Born Primordial650, Prim is a noted and well respected member of multiple online communities, most notably the iFunny community WIFC, where he is a former World Champion. One of their great accomplishments, Prim beat SnoruntPyro in a Binding of Isaac race in The Great Primchat^[1] of 2020. Known for being very smart and very attractive, Prim was instrumental in the creation of MaGMML, as an outside advisor and lead financier.

Early Life

Prim (Born Primordial650), was born in the humble town of [REDACTED], Vermont. Born on [REDACTED], Prim was noted as a boy genius by the local physician, Prim began his career as a Professional Thinker at the age of seven, being a major developer of Web 2.0, as the lead Ideas Man. In contrast with this, Prim spent much of his early life in poverty, and began interacting with the criminal underbelly, most notably the Crips of Vermont. This level of contradiction between the idealized version of Prim created in his own head and the tough realities of life on the streets was instrumental in the creation of his life's guiding philosophy.

Life in Prison

When working as an associate of the Crips of Vermont, Prim ended up serving a prison sentence for [REDACTED]. Prim was enlisted by Twist "Big Stinky" C to begin laying the groundwork for what would become Scooby Doc 4. This prison project would go on to be completed in 2018 as one of the pivotal pieces in the MaGMML canon. Twist and Prim would go on to commit to a prison break, where they infiltrated the prisons prison gang and used their internal squabble as a cover for their daring escape. The two continue a working relationship, years after the prison experience.

Becoming Prim

In the canon of Western Philosophy, much is noted on the ideas of Becoming. At what point does a grain of sand, in ever growing quantity, become a mound of sand? A pile of sand? A mountain of sand? These quantitative changes are observable, and in that, albeit increasingly limited scope given advances in quantum theory, we can mark change. Where though, does a man change? As one of the worlds leading conundrummers, Prim has worked to weave through this web. As taken from his magnum opus "Prim: Story of Primordial", Prim is quoted, "What doth life?"

t&p fire pro

The Great Primchat of 2020

What began as an experiment in understanding the depths of the human condition to "Game", The Great Primchat of 2020 was born with the introduction of Metal Gear Solid nights, the famous Hideo Kojima game. Starring Brick, Brute, Twist, Beats, and Prim, MGS Night was one of the worlds leading streams during its run, amassing a total of 2 viewers at its peak. Starting with the Prim play through of MGS1, each member played their respective MGS game, Twist - MGS2, Beats - MGS3, and Brick - MGS4. The total run time of this broadcast was way too long and its a good thing there was a world threatening virus going around otherwise we may have not finished in an orderly fashion.

Albums that are Prim Approved:

Simple Structures - Fight Cloud

Laughing Stock - Talk Talk

Melting Sun - Lantlôs

Entire Godspeed You! Black Emperor discography

Low End Theory - Tribe Called Quest

Take on the Iraq War

       Bones in the soil, rust in the oil. September 11th, 2001 marked an event that would only grow larger. A black hole, infinite in its potential energy as the ripple effect circles the globe. One such event is still yet to cease its grip on the lives of millions: the Iraq war. Starting in early 2003 after a year of politics and investigation into the perpetrators of 9/11, over a decade of fighting ensued. How Iraq stands now compared to prior to the war is valuable, as “liberating” the country was a primary objective of the invasion. Of the reasons listed to justify this liberation, upholding equal rights for women was chief among them. In understanding Iraq as it is today, it is imperative that the reasonings for the war are made apparent. Whether or not these actions are justified is crucial in understanding how the world changes its behavior towards future incidents. The claim of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) being produced and harbored in the country was a major justification for the conflict. The containment of foreign nuclear arsenal has been at the forefront of American foreign policy since the end of WW2, so it is no wonder this became a hot issue regarding Iraq. The roots and implications of this claim must be dived into, as this idea was reverberated through the media and by politicians throughout 2003. The existence of an ulterior motive, that of American companies using the invasion to profit off Iraqi oil, must also be discussed. If true, much of the publicly announced justification will weaken, as it was used as a coverup for the real objective. The Iraq war is not binary. It is a complex web of connections between regimes of old and new, ethnic conflicts and foreign interference from Western powers. Disassociating from a purely American perspective and looking at the war in terms of how it affected the Iraqi people is crucial in determining not only the ethicality of the war, but how its justifications stack up to the real-world consequences. 

Soil. Iraq has changed. Many proponents of war argued that liberation of the Iraqi people was first and foremost in the US’s plan with the war. “The tyrant will soon be gone. The day of your liberation is near.” Seemingly at the core of the American mission in Iraq was liberation of the people, for the people. In response to the treatment of women in Iraq, American pundits took a razor-sharp focus on the aiding of this group. An idea formed of saving them from the punishments brought on by the Iraqi government. Amidst the war, ‘Open Shutters’ provided Iraqi women with training in photography, in the name of documenting their lives. “I sit drinking my morning coffee and I get distracted. I think about my daughter. She says to me, ‘We’re trapped in the house and the terror in our streets is never-ending—I’m just afraid that my future will end before all this does ...and I feel torn and deeply sad....” Women in Iraq have fared some of the worst treatment since the invasion. In the capital city of Baghdad, lawlessness and collapsed infrastructure was the new norm. Depleted uranium, left from bombs dropped by the United States, gave a new image of “regular” life: mothers clutching babies, cancer killing both. The progressive ‘personal status law’ enacted in 1959 was abolished with the signing of the new constitution. The repercussions of this were felt as the movements of women have been monitored by the new governments police, and hijab enforcement has either remained the same or intensified. No adequate security was ever granted to women in Iraq, despite US messaging on the issue. A “Neo-conservative feminism” took hold in US perception of Iraq. Women were heralded as the ones who would bring the instrumental change to the nation however in reality, women were still not granted the necessary security and human rights needed to install such a lofty ambition. The repainting of the Iraqi woman’s struggle by the US severely dampens the legitimacy of the invasion, as a nation participating in a justified war would have prioritized the goals set out by their politicians . The fall of the Ba’ath regime and implementation of the US puppet government worsened conditions for those already suffering, and no plan to fix this has been implemented. If it is to be reasoned that the United States was justified in their Iraqi regime change, then the material conditions of the Iraqi people should be improving. Today there stands an inequality in the emphasis the US put on women via propaganda, and the actual conditions left for these same women following the invasion. The soil (material conditions) of Iraq has been damaged to a point where liberation as justification no longer stands.

Rust. September 24th, 2002. The British government publishes a dossier claiming that Iraq possesses WMDs. Then Prime Minister Tony Blair hosts an emergency meeting of Parliament to assess what must be done. Shortly thereafter, war has begun. The implications of this dossier cannot be overstated, as it represents the single biggest piece of justification for the war. A central claim of the dossier is that Saddam Hussein could order a WMD strike within 45 minutes . British weapons expert David Kelly, a key worker in the research for the dossier, said the document had “been round the houses several times in order to try to find a form of words which could strengthen certain political objectives.” In truth, this 45 minute figure, which found its way deep into President Bush’s Iraqi vocabulary, was in reference to far lighter weaponry, nothing close to the idea cast by “WMD” . In leaked documents dated from March 2002, investigators learned that “The British government told the U.S. government that it backed regime change through military force; would need a strategy to sell military action to the public, the press and Parliament by wrong-footing Iraq on weapons inspections; and would also need a public document to help make the case on the basis of disarming Iraq of WMD.” The release of the dossier has been described as “Deceptive organized political persuasion” for this exact reason. It is abundantly clear that the evidence provided for the claim is faulty at best and one of the greatest examples of government lying in history at worst. All of this came to a head following the 2003 invasion: no WMDs were found in Iraq. Tony Blair stated in 2010 that "we came under pressure in the lead-up to the publication of the September dossier. We came under enormous pressure to say what it was our intelligence was actually telling us” . Given the contents of the leaked documents, it is evident that this “pressure” was not of public outcry, but rather from the United States, the main perpetrator of the invasion.

Oil. The Middle East plays a vital role in world oil supply. Saudi Arabia exports vast amounts of oil all over the world, with the United States acting as a top buyer. The potential wealth inherent to the industry has made it the defining point in Middle Eastern politics, with the price of oil having the ability to cause economic crashes across the world. Iraq alone accounts for 98 years worth of US annual imports. “It hardly needs to be added that if Saddam does acquire the capability to deliver weapons of mass destruction ... a significant portion of the world’s supply of oil will all be put at hazard ... The only acceptable strategy is ... to undertake military action as diplomacy is clearly failing.” This quote does not come from pundits, but rather a 1988 letter from Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, and other members of their delegation to Bill Clinton. Both men went on to work in varying capacities for the Bush Administrations Department of Defense. The ideological and economic arguments for the Iraq war were in deep circulation long before the public began debating. Complications over OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries) regarding claims of price fixing caused instability to those looking to maximize profits off Middle Eastern oil. If the United States were to capture Iraqi oil, they could take control over global oil markets. The Bush Administration gave out lucrative contracts to US oil companies such as Bechtel and Halliburton. Dick Cheney, the Vice President during the invasion of Iraq was CEO of Halliburton until 2000, when he was announced to be on George Bush’s ticket. The growing competition over a diminishing energy source has led to an industry dominated by military and political occupation of foreign oil markets, and Iraq was the most violent case in recent years. This “Petro-imperialism” goes far beyond against what American politicians claimed was the reasoning for the war, and the toll this imperialistic venture took on Iraq is still being counted to this day.

The United States pulled out of Iraq in 2011. Fighting amongst newly emboldened militant groups persists, and the new government has failed to accommodate the needs of the people. No WMDs. No reason to invade. Yet, to this day, Americans still debate whether this war was “justified”. A disconnection from the on-the-ground effects of the Iraq war has limited our scope in this debate. There was no justification. The Iraq war, as it was promoted, never happened . Living with this almost post-modern experience of a war has left our collective reasoning scarred. The people of Iraq do not share this dilemma. Survival amidst the chaos of the world’s largest military crushing down upon them is the primary concern. As a globally linked society, it is imperative that lessons are learned from this, and that this same trap is not pulled on the people of first-world countries to support imperialistic endeavors like the war in Iraq.

Bibliography:

Prim: Story of Primordial

How to Steam Milk like a Pro!

King James Bible (1998 edition)

Trivia:

Prims former online alias was Primordial, which Merriam Webster describes as "existing in or persisting from the beginning (as of a solar system or universe)".

Prim is the inventor of the Kansas egg drop, a fan favorite at CT food festivals.

A famous barista in their locale, Prim is a one time Partner of the Quarter at Starbucks.

Prim has read the Communist Manifesto 17 times.

One of Prim's main Starbucks customers is none other than UFC Light Heavyweight contender Glover Teixera

Once counted to 61 in 60 seconds.

Ate like 4 eggs in one day once, kind of wild.